There are certain important things that men want in a relationship that we might not always think about. And no, I’m not talking about what men want physically, but what they need and want emotionally.

A relationship is best defined as a give-and-take scenario that spans many years. A symbiotic relationship (those who paid attention in biology class, holla), one where both parties benefit and grow both physically, and mentally.

Nowadays, however, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Some relationships are broken after many years, and others, as soon as it starts. Many times we can actually see that some people aren’t even compatible. And to our surprise, those people still stay together no matter how tough the going gets, while those we thought of as the perfect couple end up splitting, and often the split is very nasty. 

How could this be? What causes fairytale relationships to turn into horrible nightmares overnight? Long story short? I’ll go with a lack of understanding and patience that is absent in many relationships today.

12 Things men want in a relationship they won’t necessarily tell you about

It is very hard for relationships to thrive if one party doesn’t understand the workings of the other, doesn’t even try to start understanding them, and yet demands to be understood.

It is also very difficult for relationships to survive when neither have the patience for the shortcomings of the other. Both parties must have a mutual understanding of one another for relationships to flourish. And here, we’ll begin with the things men want in a relationship. 

People usually assume that males are led by what they see, which of course is not totally wrong. But men rely on their gut, their instincts, to see the true characters of a woman before deciding to ask her to be in their life forever. 

For women in relationships already, this article will show you some things you could do to make your man happier (which will also make him live longer). After all, the fastest way to a man’s heart is… through his heart (sike!).

1. Men have the desire to be understood – Yes, firstly we’ll start with the basis for true love, understanding. Men will always go for the woman they feel understands them, and their highs and lows. Nowadays men are thrust into the world with the expectations to be strong and show no emotions. Men, now more than ever, need a woman who can see past the facade that is known as the Tough Guy card.

It always eats men up when they cannot reveal what they feel because of what society expects of them. Imagine their woman holding that same belief. Sometimes men want to be babied, and that is okay actually. 

Naturally, they are known to stand up and make decisions and all. But around their woman, they want that security of admitting weakness without being chastised. It is very normal, and showing him how much you are willing to understand him will sweep him off his feet (yep, men can be swept off their feet too).

In a world that criticizes you for whatever you do, whether right or wrong, be that woman who will not be judgmental of his choices whether or not they are wrong. It’s alright to always air your thoughts—it is very important to do so. But if for some reason, say stubbornness, he still stays on track with his previous decisions and the outcome isn’t so palatable, it will be very nice of you not to point fingers at him.

2. Men need to be listened to

In a world where everyone has a story to tell, those who listen are true treasures to behold. The more you listen to someone, the more they have a deeper connection with you. The best way to connect with your man is to always be there to listen to him. When he feels down he needs to be listened to, he needs someone to hear about the very thoughts that plague him. 

Hence, one of the most important things men want in a relationship is to be listened to.  The woman who always listens to her partner will be valued above everything in his life; men are actually quite simple.

3. Men need to feel trusted – In every relationship there will come trying times when the sincerity of your partner is going to be doubted. What I advise is that it is very difficult to hide the truth, so you should trust him. If you understand him well enough, there are things you will know he can and cannot do. Use that as a foundation for your trust girl, and watch your relationship soar.

4. Men need emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy goes way beyond mere touches or kisses. In this case, it is the depth at which your partner can open up to you about his past experiences without the sting of guilt or judgmental glares. 

The more a man can be open about his secrets, the more he will love you, and the more he will care for you.

5. Praise. Praise him till he turns red

Everyone has a set standard of what they want from others and many times do not offer any form of appreciation when they attain certain milestones. 

Girl, this should not be the case with you. Any little thing he does, praise him. He successfully prepares a meal, dish out the compliments. He is happy about something you don’t understand but he achieved, praise him. If he is sad over a loss of investments, praise his fortitude and rationality after the sadness blows over. You get the idea. Men want to be appreciated for everything and anything. So when he does something you are proud of or appreciate, make sure to show him and tell him.

6. Respect, him. Always respect him

It is very normal to throw shades at people, to tease them over things they do. But when it comes to our significant other, one must be careful not to cross the line, no matter how thin it is. 

Men are built with slightly brittle egos. If there is something people insult him with or you know there is something he is very conscious about, try your very best not to use that to insult him, okay? Asides from that, every other thing can be used at your disposal (wink wink).

7. Accept him and his shortcomings

No one is perfect, we all have our flaws and that is what makes us human. In reality, flaws are needed for relationships to thrive. 

When we have flaws and weaknesses we are complemented by the strengths of those around us, in this case, our partners. For a relationship to thrive there must be a very high degree of acceptance of the flaws of your partner. Out of the many desires possible to be listed, one of the greatest things men want in a relationship is this acceptance.

8. Men want to feel safe around their lovers – Legend has it that there exists within every man, a child who wants to be safe. And that is very true, he wants to see that you care for him, so always show it. It will get to a point where his day will not be made until he sees you or hears from you.

9. Men want to be encouraged

There are times when, after feeling extremely comfortable with you, he will tell you of a certain endeavor he wants to embark on but he feels uncertain about the result. 

As it is very normal for every human being to feel fear, the fear of failure, it is at that point that men want you to be the surge of adrenaline they so desperately need. It is at that point he needs you to be that nudge for his inner lion to roar. The spark that will light up the eyes of his inner dragon (jeesh, I sound so poetic). 

Be that for him and you have given him one of the greatest gifts humanity could ever create, an encouraging woman.

10. There should be no barriers in communication – Communication is the life force of every relationship. The beauty of it is that if both of you are busy and don’t talk for weeks, whenever you see each other again, you speak with such excitement as though you both haven’t seen each other in years. Now that is a beautiful thing. To be able to communicate with you without feeling that there are certain things he should not say, as a man, will be his greatest source of comfort and joy.

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